the sprites still wander the  h  al   l w a   y s

there are two now but i am aware that there are  mo r e t o  co  m    e

the sprites have taken to reciting erratic statements such as

WE REFUSE TO BE DOMESTIC

and

THE CAT WILL FALL ASLEEP NOW

though the cat was already asleep…

maybe you notice that the sprites have no orifices that can produce words

well … understand that i can comprehend their language

(psychically)

since the accident…

horrific couch-related accident:

a supreme documentation of horrific couch-related accident

tragedy need not

b  lo o d a n d  d ea  t h

tragedy is often viewed (from the perspective of a western culturalite) as an epic loss. this is formed amidst movies, television, and computer screens of scenes featuring (anglo, upper class) youth cut down in their prime and (heterosexual) lovers who must part for the survival of the world/ mankind: perpetual shakespearean escapades. the everyday and more logical sense of tragedy is lost with this excessive force of media abuse perpetuating paradigms of institutional oppressions.

blood and death are inevitable though it seems rather ridiculous and disgusting, the pedestal blood and death are placed upon, as if no other experience can be tragic. as if every moment is not somewhat tragic.

the rapid passing of possibilities.

Missed Fortunes. Called Maladies. Concluded Destinies.

(regret is an ugly word purely for aesthetic reasons)

tragedy seems more like a romanticized affliction from a place of privilege, where blood and death are abnormal occurrences and where you have so much to lose that every loss begins with the end of the world.

but also… there is so much blood … and death… all around

blood and death need not

v an  i  ty  an   d  p r i    d e

it is true i took a skill saw to the couch. it seemed like a wonderfully precarious idea. though being a trans woman i am obviously not man enough to wield such grand objects of masculinity.

perhaps the symmetry of the couch dismantling and in-depth internal dialog on tragedy resulted in an abrasive corporeal metaphor. hmmm…

well… what happened was…the harshness of the tool used did cause a fragile spring to lash out and tear across my face afflicting all kinds of horror upon my precious vanity.

such a tragedy.

d r eam s  s o f   a    my  op i  an    f  u t  re

note: an array of bright colors (yet imagined) and glimmering relics (hidden under rust and within despised couches) will be scattered upon the world for the visually impaired. please collect as many as possible.

being a crafty person has its fine moments, such as:

instead of going to the doctor to receive butterflies and stitches, you can sew up your own wounds with sharp needles, waxed thread, and a small vial of do-it-yourself spirit.

though soon after the operation i began receiving the psychic communiques of sprites who recited what they considered poetry:

MAYBE YOU ARE OKAY NOW

VANITY IS A HIDEOUS SCAR

YOU HAVE HIDDEN PRIDE ON YOUR CHIN (like relish)

ARE YOU OKAY MAYBE NOW

y o u   a  re no t a l o ne

there is someone else in the room

the scar has clearly become infected. there is yellow-pussing hopelessness, inflamed agoraphobia, gangrenous thoughts of suicide and the scar finds it difficult to wake up in the mornings, is captive to compulsive habits, and missed several appointments since being afflicted.

(at times it feels a tragedy to not wear internal ramifications of depression and trauma on your skin: to make literal the abstract wounds)

WE SHOULD LEAVE THE HOUSE NOW

THE CAT IS PURRING LOUDLY (like a pigeon or a lion)

YOU FIND IT PLEASURABLE TO GLUE THINGS ON YOUR FACE

the tragedy of it all… end part two

]]> http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/we-hate-this-couch-horrific-couch-related-accidents-part-two/feed/ 0 seaattacks DSC03356 DSC03376 DSC03374 DSC03373 DSC03365 DSC03366 DSC03369 DSC03372 DSC03378 http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/couchating/ http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/couchating/#comments Tue, 03 Nov 2009 14:22:22 +0000 seaattacks http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/?p=714 ]]>

we hate this couch:

on dismantling unfashionable seating instruments through emphatic action and projecting identity on to zero waste crafting exploits

the revolution begin at home

sweet home

activist rhetoric for zealous youth with fledging accountability and an endearing cliche phrase to be ornamentally carved into sugar pine, painted in  pastels and hung on a front door, perhaps with the image of a stoic goose.

this is my political background in disruption of the home front. beyond uncomfortable family dinner with careful tip toes, i desire to tie my organs into delicate ribbons and spray paint stencils on the inside of my stomach; something funny or ironic like an anatomical heart or “meat is murder” or perhaps inscribe an inspiring manifesto i will someday write along the inner lining.

gross, anyway…

we hate this couch (it has got to go)

loose change

part of me hopes that tearing apart this couch will be like an epiphany, finding loose change between the cushions or perhaps a ten dollar bill. part of me believes in ghosts. these aspects of myself are different, but important when beginning a fresh undertaking.

expectation and pretension. wide-eyed wonder and intrigue.

as i tear apart this couch i hope it has been loved. not because of sadist fantasy but along with ghosts i believe that the only things that are worth dismantling are things that have been loved. otherwise it should be destroyed.

cushion  s

this couch was made for the landfill. not quite the simple ikeaonic structure  yet still manufactured in a cheap fashion. this meaning, though it is held together with staples, wood glue, and cheap screws, it is still heavy and hard to disassemble.

zero waste sounds like a picketing slogan or a welcome mat, perhaps with an embroidered pineapple. it sounds like something that could be adopted and orphaned by whole foods.

though it feels like an application of ideals.

process infused with desire.

take things seriously

homebody

there are inward truths, such as i enjoy my privacy (minus the flaunting of couch wrecking) and i am afraid of the dark and finding latent suicide notes beneath cushions and abandonment fascinates me.

if i saw this couch on the curb i would want to sit in it.

if it were torn to pieces and smattered across an empty lot, i would want to take photos striving for perplexing but beautiful composition. this is a somewhat problematic desire, for it requires the fetishization of disparaging environmental conditions that I am privileged enough to not be subjected to. the couch becomes a symbol for greater issues in this context, one that is reflected in both personal life and practice and how that relates to environmental/ social  justice.

this seeks not to be a model for decisive action or the workings of a guilty conscious, but translating desire and aesthetic ingrained in a manic psyche into

…a destroyed couch…

the couch fragments are now smattered between the floor, kitchen, hallway, and bedroom. this is a    b re   e d in g  g r ou  n    d

from the wreckage small beings begin to form, awakened sprites emerge.

with purpose unknown, the sprites take to stumbling down the hall

while scaring the cat in an unintentional manner

all the sprites have an inherited      w   a nd e         r  l u    st

dismantle with love end part one

new england in the autumn is a welcoming site… short drives and colorful landscapes and the hospitality that warms a smile like a cup of tea…

the first venture of the dysphoric cyborgs tour was a concotion heart-warmth through homes and friends, delerious car rides, and ever frustrating interactions.

the reason to travel, to perpetually be creating/ the inability to stop creating and traveling, is the desire for connection to a broader (queer and transgender) community and to awaken the little snippets of myself that I witness emerge out from depression and self-doubt: to be intentional with this process.

awakening is more encompassing word for touring and artistic process in this context.

perhaps this is a heavy load to carry, to squeeze inbetween puppets, keyboards, and guitars to expand into the spaces we temporarily occupy.

this is a ramble. i am rambling.

with every tour and every performance there is a forever realization:

no matter how hard the fight against transphobia: it still exists

and hits  like a ton of bricks

and also that decent/ wonderful  people still exist as well and they want to make life so much more pleasant than it tends to be (especially on the road)…

moral of the story:  this experience has been and continues to be

rough and beautiful as

t um ult u ou s r ain  bo   w            s

…

keep it going… Dysphoric Cyborgs Midwest Tour November 3rd – 18th

(click below for details)

Dysphoric Cyborgs take full advantage of the queer fountain of youth

]]> http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/tumultuous-rainbows-a-dysphoric-cyborgs-update/feed/ 0 seaattacks DSC02568 DSC02570 DSC02697 DSC02703 DSC02718 DSC02730 DSC02853 DSC02857 DSC02873 DSC02930 DSC02906 http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/2009/10/01/the-femme-show-october-2nd-and-3rd-at-the-cambridge-ywca/ http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/2009/10/01/the-femme-show-october-2nd-and-3rd-at-the-cambridge-ywca/#comments Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:28:53 +0000 seaattacks http://stitchingtentacles.wordpress.com/?p=669 ]]>

THE FEMME SHOW!

October 2nd and 3rd 8pm @ The Cambridge YWCA 820 Mass Ave in Central Square

The Femme Show premiered to sold out crowds in Jamaica Plain, MA in October 2007. The Femme Show is a revue of smart, sexy, interactive performance about queer femme identity that features film, dance, literary readings, burlesque, drag, and performance art from award winning artists. To bring The Femme Show to your area, email info [at] thefemmeshow.com.

This years show features 14 different fabulous artists and performers.

Also…

MadFemmePride Presents the Femme Show After Party on Friday, October 2.
Fun mixing and mingling games, Great Conversation, Signature cocktails and cash bar, Free snacks, music and dancing.
$2-5 suggested donation to help us cover costs.
The Elks Club, 55 Bishop Allen Drive.
Directions from the Cambridge YMCA Theater: Coming out of the theater, turn right on Mass Ave. Turn left on Prospect, walk one block, then turn right onto Bishop Allen. The Elks Club is a little more than 2 blocks down. Follow signs to the bar.

Come hungry and bring cash…..the bakesale chock full of sweet, savory, and vegan delicacies supports the work of the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition.

preface: the car accident

tall building hover overhead as clouds, bridges overtake sky, and the screams and cries of speeding metal careen by as greens and blues peak through concrete.

i never thought of a car as a wounded beast before but as fluids leak from the damaged form onto pavement and puddle at my foot… sympathy overwhelms me. i feel as though i somehow failed this creature that i thought was supposed to protect me.

the other driver examines the lack of damage to their vehicle and a thought occurs: she was not wearing a seat belt.

it was not until an hour later until i could attend to her despite the obvious trauma. checking on the well fair of your seemingly inanimate object i guessed might make me appear unstable. car accidents are very stable events. standard and procedure.

she appeared ok; laying on the ground with feet over head amid cassette tapes and odd trinkets: but who is really ever ok? she has not said a word since.

buttons and stitches…

epilogue:

everything is ok!

Below is a message from Trans-Genre.net , a website that offers free promotion for transgender artists, musicians, and performers and showcases the diversity and creative  energy exuding from the broader transgender community.

The first Trans-Fusions CD featured an array of musicians and visual artists including Coyote Grace, Ryka Aoki de la Cruz and Dylan Scholinski among others.

If you are a trans artists or know of any pass on the word…

Hey There!

Here at Trans-Genre we Love our community & are dedicated to promoting you and your work. That is why, unlike other Promotional Services we offer opportunities at absolutely No Cost to our artists. That means no Submission Fees & No “Minimum Buy” Requirements to Participate. Just our way of saying “Thank you for all the amazing work you do.” <3

We currently have 2 Promotional Opportunities in the works covering the areas of Audio and Visual Art. Since we know you’re busy & we like to keep it short and simple we’ll give you the basics here and provide links to the site with more information (i.e. submission guidelines & forms).

Currently Seeking Submissions:

1. the 2nd Trans-Genre Compilation CD

• Submission Deadline: Extended! Oct 15th
• Audio/Visual
• Compensation: Copy of Final Trans-Genre Compilation
• click here for more info

2. Sticker Madness Contest

• Submission Deadline: Oct 15
• Visual
• 5 winning Designs chosen
• Compensation: set of all wining designs + 25 stickers of your own Design
• click here for more info

i really enjoy the process of making a puppet. sculpting cardboard, roving through recycled fabrics and found objects, experimenting with balance and movement: i find this as interesting as the actual performances.

here is a puppet i have been working on for a short peice for the femme show , a showcase of queer/ femme performers in boston october 2nd and 3rd (click link for more info) and for a longer peice as part of the dysphoric cyborgs tour (more on this soon).

next post: face, feet, and diy puppet fashion

i recently spent an intense/ incredible few weeks at mountain meadow summer camp, a camp that a focus on kids from LGBT families and/or identities.

it was a very nurturing environment where social justice and anti-oppression was an essential focus. everyone (both staff and kids) came from an array of backgrounds and experiences. the space created wholeheartedly embraced this: a rare experience, especially in a hectic work environment.

i held down the ‘art shack’: a long building filled with more arts and crafts supplies then i would ever know what to do with (well perhaps…)

the work produced by the kids with their insight and creativity truly inspired me. i wanted to share some of their work:

environmental scuplture

puppetry

big win!

also featured journal making and nature painting plus misc. artwork

after creating a puppet i am often left with an array of awkward cardboard pieces and dollops of recycled paint. in an effort to use materials to their last bits and scraps and bring the concept of zero waste ever more into my artistic process, i started making small masks from this refuse.

these masks were asking to adorn the urban environment, so i obliged.

…more soon

Recently the transgender community lost a very witty and fabulous woman.

Mary Yolanda aka Mary Magician passed away in late July due to complications with prostate cancer.

Mary dazzled audiences across the Midwest with her magic and humor and performed at Southern Comfort and with the Tranny Roadshow in 2008 and 2009.

I first encountered Mary during the Tranny Roadshow Rocky Mountain Tour in 2008. Always the center of excitement even outside the performances, Mary was known to pull out magic tricks at airports and restaurants, tell jokes that you might never repeat but love to hear, and enjoy the nightlife, outlasting other performers, some 30 -40 years younger (including myself).

Mary  helped question my view of an inter-generational trans community: the fact that we need elders to inspire us and give us hope for the often volatile lives of transgender folks.

mary crooning an audience in cincinatti