I am currently in the midst of a 40 (or so) day tour across the Southeast with genderqueer singer/ songwriter Evan Greer.

The tour thus far as been quite a spectacular whirlwind.  Performing alongside such talented artists and being the subject to some beautiful hospitality.  (click the photo above for tour dates)

For the last few performances I thought I had lost my camera charger somewhere in North Carolina, but it was since been found and I share with you some pictures…

Geppetta

Bell’s Roar

Turn Yer Tranny Up High!

Evan Greer

Harper Evan Nelson

photos from Philadelphia at the Green Line Cafe

seen in Carborro, NC

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Evan Greer with Sofia Poirier @ Bull City Headquarters in Durham

photos by Angela Diveglia

Old Sledge

(most amazing old timey cover of  lady gaga!)

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Evan Greer @ The Log Cabin in Blacksburg VA

(special thanks to Liam!)

road hazards!

Evan Greer and Friends! @ The Birdhouse in Knoxville, TN

After being snowed into Asheville for a few days, we arrived in Atlanta (via Blue Ridge) passing through the Chattanooga National Forest and some stunning Appalachian sites.

Mountains are beautiful and important. We probably shouldn’t blow them to pieces to maintain an unsustainable way of living. Check out United Mountain Defense to see how you can help!

We are now in Atlanta, which I anxiously and repeatedly labeled HOTlanta until we arrived and I slept curled in a sleeping bag next to a space heater in a supposedly haunted room. No ghosts shook us awake though (only roosters).

More soon on our Southbound travels….

so the couch dismantling has taken a hiatus for touring around the country with some queer, fabulous performers. on that note…

Earlier, this month I had the supreme pleasure of touring with the Tranny Roadshow once again.

Unfortunately, I did not take as many photos as I would have liked to as I was swooning over the likes of Ryka Aoki de la Cruz, Liam Bechen, Jamez Terry, and our stowaway Kian.

The Tranny Roadshow intern (Sarah Judy) however did take some amazing photos available for viewing pleasure here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trannyroadshow/sets/72157623236125640/

photos below from Firehouse 13 in Providence and the New Haven Pride Center

liam bechen

Ryka Aoki de la Cruz


Jamez Terry

Kian

for more information please see:

http://www.trannyroadshow.com

also…I am on tour with Evan Greer of the Riot Folk! Collective. We are an epic 43 day tour across the Southeast.  Please click here for a full listing of dates.


the world is a stage…no…

the world is an oyster…no…


we hate this couch:

of parasites and non-performance

dare to  d  r e a   m…

i do not believe in dualisms, i do no think they are real. yet the rather illusive and potent nature of dualisms affects reality in an intense manner…

i do not believe in dualisms though i know that they exist. dualisms exist as part of some grand euro-centric capitalist wet dream, the imagination of colonial desire projected upon the earth…hmmm…

i might believe in dualisms but only in the way a hypochondriac believes in illness or as atlas believes he is truly holding up the world all the while dreaming of a helium-based universe full of cotton candy lifeforms…

(do not let a planet’s weight crush you, please)

i do believe in hope although it seems intangible. if there were an antonym to hope i  would have to say it is my reluctance to belief in dualisms.

the world is a giant oyster stage

the pearls are singing ballads and crying to themselves

seahorses and starfish dance fantastical waltzes

the kelp sways to the breathless melodies

glittering scales shine iridescence into swift currents

….

the world is a 400 year old clam

scientists dig up while investigating climate changes

over the past 1000 years…

to figure out the clams age you must crack open its shell

and count its ridges like a tree

not a day over 400 this ancient beast is now dead


..but perhaps the world can be defined by dualities. where there is one there is always an opposite, and one opposite will always be inferior, lesser and/or, at its dreaded worst, evil.

where there is/are….

Man there shall be Woman

White there shall be Black

Morals there shall be Depravity

Reason there shall be Nature

Object there shall be Subject

…and all of a sudden the world is of two dimensional splendor.

anti- bo  di  e   s

as someone who doesn’t believe in dualisms in a world ruled by duality, i am but a figment of imagination. for this reason(nature), i am subjected (objected) to all sorts of magical happenings.

The body is electric. The static which creates a pulse.

Hopeful.

the wicked and gang re no us

you see… the couch-related accident that  painted scars across my face and vanity became grossly infected with no ordinary manner of infection.

during the night, while my wound lay gaping defenseless, a devious sprite slipped inside, slithering between the bone of my socket and beneath fleshy eyeball. Over the past few weeks it did enter a chrysalis state deconstructing its spritely form within the confines of my skull before bursting through not as some ornate and liberated buttercreature but as a grotesque arachnid form that retained residence upon my scalp, a fleshy patio of sorts.

Simply Magical.

(is this a dualism? is there simple magic?)

where there is performance there is non – p er  fo r m a  n ce

one cannot just go walking about the world with a couch-related parasprite attached to one’s own dear head. people will become angry or confused, maybe even violent.

it is the dreaded t h e m i fear.

t h e m who have forsaken reality for oppressive imagination and condemned my own reality to the thralls of magical happenings. therefore my own reality contradicts the imagined reality of t h e m .

Rather Devastating.

due to my parasitical condition, i was forced to non-engage with several performances this past autumn and opt instead for its dual entity: the non-performance. this is not to be confused with anti-performance, post-performance, or psuedo-performance (which I abhor) and in no way am i to be considered a non-performer, but a performer engaged in non-performance.

the best way to describe a non-performance is the non-acknowledgment of a performance while still being aware, perhaps, though not exclusively, in retrospect.

some examples of non-performance:

non-performance sample #1: greetings

the simplest of non-performances, simply greet someone and in doing so avoid performing.

this involves not using vague adjectives such as:

Good. Fine. Okay.

and for sure does not involve any abuse of grandiose words such as:

Great. Awesome. Wonderful.

are you really that great? are you so full of wonder and awe? i suspect you would implode if you truly were. but if you have a magical affliction as i do maybe that’s possible and I shouldn’t judge or make assumptions.

the act of non-performing requires a certain amount of honesty that you can facilitate:

“How are you?”    “I am not feeling well. I have a parasite. But do not worry its mostly imaginary and not contagious.”

“What’s up?” “I just saw a bird.” or “I need another drink.”

non-performance #2: overcome a fear

for Transgender Remembrance Day 2008 i engaged in an actual performance that entailed the painting of portraits in public of trans people who had been murdered. this was executed over the course of three days and involved painting until my fingers grew too cold.

for Transgender Remembrance 2009 i had similar intentions though being wrought with a magical couch-related parasprite hanging from my skull i chose to enact a non-performance.

for thirty minutes i walked around the center city streets of philadelphia. as i walked i made mental comments about how i wanted to be invisible, how much i hated to be seen in public, how unsafe i felt because i have a hideous grotesque creature attached to my head. though no one seemed to notice or, if they did, showed little concern.

was this dreaded t h e m ?

perhaps these people cannot see the magic happening about my body. perhaps there is magic happenings about these people that i cannot see. i squinted closely at several people, tried to focus really hard, but only drew attention to myself which then nearly constituted an actual performance so i stopped and continued to simply walk around until I grew anxious and weary.

what did this achieve? frankly, little to no introspective efforts have been made as non-performance requires itself to have a non-analytical structure for the most part. though non-performance must not be confused with non-action (though various elements overlap) and after several weeks locked in fear entranced by the venom of parasitical sprites, by aroused fear of violence and non-acceptance, being outdoors and being seen was empowering.

it is the small battles and smaller victories where non-performance seems at its most relevant.

THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD IS UPON YOU

YET YOU ROLL AGAINST THE CUSP OF TIME

THE CAT BECOMES RATHER SASSY

WHEN IT SNOWS

until next time revelers…

special thanks to wren warner for parasite portraits

the sprites still wander the  h  al   l w a   y s

there are two now but i am aware that there are  mo r e t o  co  m    e

the sprites have taken to reciting erratic statements such as

WE REFUSE TO BE DOMESTIC

and

THE CAT WILL FALL ASLEEP NOW

though the cat was already asleep…

maybe you notice that the sprites have no orifices that can produce words

well … understand that i can comprehend their language

(psychically)

since the accident…


horrific couch-related accident:

a supreme documentation of horrific couch-related accident

tragedy need not

b  lo o d a n d  d ea  t h

tragedy is often viewed (from the perspective of a western culturalite) as an epic loss. this is formed amidst movies, television, and computer screens of scenes featuring (anglo, upper class) youth cut down in their prime and (heterosexual) lovers who must part for the survival of the world/ mankind: perpetual shakespearean escapades. the everyday and more logical sense of tragedy is lost with this excessive force of media abuse perpetuating paradigms of institutional oppressions.

blood and death are inevitable though it seems rather ridiculous and disgusting, the pedestal blood and death are placed upon, as if no other experience can be tragic. as if every moment is not somewhat tragic.

the rapid passing of possibilities.

Missed Fortunes. Called Maladies. Concluded Destinies.

(regret is an ugly word purely for aesthetic reasons)

tragedy seems more like a romanticized affliction from a place of privilege, where blood and death are abnormal occurrences and where you have so much to lose that every loss begins with the end of the world.

but also… there is so much blood … and death… all around

blood and death need not

v an  i  ty  an   d  p r i    d e

it is true i took a skill saw to the couch. it seemed like a wonderfully precarious idea. though being a trans woman i am obviously not man enough to wield such grand objects of masculinity.

perhaps the symmetry of the couch dismantling and in-depth internal dialog on tragedy resulted in an abrasive corporeal metaphor. hmmm…

well… what happened was…the harshness of the tool used did cause a fragile spring to lash out and tear across my face afflicting all kinds of horror upon my precious vanity.

such a tragedy.

d r eam s  s o f   a    my  op i  an    f  u t  re

note: an array of bright colors (yet imagined) and glimmering relics (hidden under rust and within despised couches) will be scattered upon the world for the visually impaired. please collect as many as possible.

being a crafty person has its fine moments, such as:

instead of going to the doctor to receive butterflies and stitches, you can sew up your own wounds with sharp needles, waxed thread, and a small vial of do-it-yourself spirit.

though soon after the operation i began receiving the psychic communiques of sprites who recited what they considered poetry:

MAYBE YOU ARE OKAY NOW

VANITY IS A HIDEOUS SCAR

YOU HAVE HIDDEN PRIDE ON YOUR CHIN (like relish)

ARE YOU OKAY MAYBE NOW

y o u   a  re no t a l o ne

there is someone else in the room

the scar has clearly become infected. there is yellow-pussing hopelessness, inflamed agoraphobia, gangrenous thoughts of suicide and the scar finds it difficult to wake up in the mornings, is captive to compulsive habits, and missed several appointments since being afflicted.

(at times it feels a tragedy to not wear internal ramifications of depression and trauma on your skin: to make literal the abstract wounds)

WE SHOULD LEAVE THE HOUSE NOW


THE CAT IS PURRING LOUDLY (like a pigeon or a lion)


YOU FIND IT PLEASURABLE TO GLUE THINGS ON YOUR FACE

the tragedy of it all… end part two

we hate this couch:

on dismantling unfashionable seating instruments through emphatic action and projecting identity on to zero waste crafting exploits

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the revolution begin at home

sweet home

activist rhetoric for zealous youth with fledging accountability and an endearing cliche phrase to be ornamentally carved into sugar pine, painted in  pastels and hung on a front door, perhaps with the image of a stoic goose.

this is my political background in disruption of the home front. beyond uncomfortable family dinner with careful tip toes, i desire to tie my organs into delicate ribbons and spray paint stencils on the inside of my stomach; something funny or ironic like an anatomical heart or “meat is murder” or perhaps inscribe an inspiring manifesto i will someday write along the inner lining.

gross, anyway…

we hate this couch (it has got to go)

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loose change

part of me hopes that tearing apart this couch will be like an epiphany, finding loose change between the cushions or perhaps a ten dollar bill. part of me believes in ghosts. these aspects of myself are different, but important when beginning a fresh undertaking.

expectation and pretension. wide-eyed wonder and intrigue.

as i tear apart this couch i hope it has been loved. not because of sadist fantasy but along with ghosts i believe that the only things that are worth dismantling are things that have been loved. otherwise it should be destroyed.

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cushion  s

this couch was made for the landfill. not quite the simple ikeaonic structure  yet still manufactured in a cheap fashion. this meaning, though it is held together with staples, wood glue, and cheap screws, it is still heavy and hard to disassemble.

zero waste sounds like a picketing slogan or a welcome mat, perhaps with an embroidered pineapple. it sounds like something that could be adopted and orphaned by whole foods.

though it feels like an application of ideals.

process infused with desire.

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homebody

there are inward truths, such as i enjoy my privacy (minus the flaunting of couch wrecking) and i am afraid of the dark and finding latent suicide notes beneath cushions and abandonment fascinates me.

if i saw this couch on the curb i would want to sit in it.

if it were torn to pieces and smattered across an empty lot, i would want to take photos striving for perplexing but beautiful composition. this is a somewhat problematic desire, for it requires the fetishization of disparaging environmental conditions that I am privileged enough to not be subjected to. the couch becomes a symbol for greater issues in this context, one that is reflected in both personal life and practice and how that relates to environmental/ social  justice.

this seeks not to be a model for decisive action or the workings of a guilty conscious, but translating desire and aesthetic ingrained in a manic psyche into

…a destroyed couch…

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the couch fragments are now smattered between the floor, kitchen, hallway, and bedroom. this is a    b re   e d in g  g r ou  n    d

from the wreckage small beings begin to form, awakened sprites emerge.

with purpose unknown, the sprites take to stumbling down the hall

while scaring the cat in an unintentional manner

all the sprites have an inherited      w   a nd e         r  l u    st

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dismantle with love end part one

new england in the autumn is a welcoming site… short drives and colorful landscapes and the hospitality that warms a smile like a cup of tea…

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the first venture of the dysphoric cyborgs tour was a concotion heart-warmth through homes and friends, delerious car rides, and ever frustrating interactions.

the reason to travel, to perpetually be creating/ the inability to stop creating and traveling, is the desire for connection to a broader (queer and transgender) community and to awaken the little snippets of myself that I witness emerge out from depression and self-doubt: to be intentional with this process.

awakening is more encompassing word for touring and artistic process in this context.

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perhaps this is a heavy load to carry, to squeeze inbetween puppets, keyboards, and guitars to expand into the spaces we temporarily occupy.

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this is a ramble. i am rambling.

with every tour and every performance there is a forever realization:

no matter how hard the fight against transphobia: it still exists

and hits  like a ton of bricks

and also that decent/ wonderful  people still exist as well and they want to make life so much more pleasant than it tends to be (especially on the road)…

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moral of the story:  this experience has been and continues to be

rough and beautiful as

t um ult u ou s r ain  bo   w            s


keep it going… Dysphoric Cyborgs Midwest Tour November 3rd – 18th

(click below for details)

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DSC02906Dysphoric Cyborgs take full advantage of the queer fountain of youth

femmeshow by steph 09 - 02

THE FEMME SHOW!

October 2nd and 3rd 8pm @ The Cambridge YWCA 820 Mass Ave in Central Square

The Femme Show premiered to sold out crowds in Jamaica Plain, MA in October 2007. The Femme Show is a revue of smart, sexy, interactive performance about queer femme identity that features film, dance, literary readings, burlesque, drag, and performance art from award winning artists. To bring The Femme Show to your area, email info [at] thefemmeshow.com.

This years show features 14 different fabulous artists and performers.

Also…


MadFemmePride Presents the Femme Show After Party on Friday, October 2.

Fun mixing and mingling games, Great Conversation, Signature cocktails and cash bar, Free snacks, music and dancing.
$2-5 suggested donation to help us cover costs.
The Elks Club, 55 Bishop Allen Drive.
Directions from the Cambridge YMCA Theater: Coming out of the theater, turn right on Mass Ave. Turn left on Prospect, walk one block, then turn right onto Bishop Allen. The Elks Club is a little more than 2 blocks down. Follow signs to the bar.

Come hungry and bring cash…..the bakesale chock full of sweet, savory, and vegan delicacies supports the work of the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition.

preface: the car accident

tall building hover overhead as clouds, bridges overtake sky, and the screams and cries of speeding metal careen by as greens and blues peak through concrete.

i never thought of a car as a wounded beast before but as fluids leak from the damaged form onto pavement and puddle at my foot… sympathy overwhelms me. i feel as though i somehow failed this creature that i thought was supposed to protect me.

the other driver examines the lack of damage to their vehicle and a thought occurs: she was not wearing a seat belt.

it was not until an hour later until i could attend to her despite the obvious trauma. checking on the well fair of your seemingly inanimate object i guessed might make me appear unstable. car accidents are very stable events. standard and procedure.

she appeared ok; laying on the ground with feet over head amid cassette tapes and odd trinkets: but who is really ever ok? she has not said a word since.

buttons and stitches…

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epilogue:

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everything is ok!

Below is a message from Trans-Genre.net , a website that offers free promotion for transgender artists, musicians, and performers and showcases the diversity and creative  energy exuding from the broader transgender community.

The first Trans-Fusions CD featured an array of musicians and visual artists including Coyote Grace, Ryka Aoki de la Cruz and Dylan Scholinski among others.

If you are a trans artists or know of any pass on the word…

cd-cover

Hey There!

Here at Trans-Genre we Love our community & are dedicated to promoting you and your work. That is why, unlike other Promotional Services we offer opportunities at absolutely No Cost to our artists. That means no Submission Fees & No “Minimum Buy” Requirements to Participate. Just our way of saying “Thank you for all the amazing work you do.” <3

We currently have 2 Promotional Opportunities in the works covering the areas of Audio and Visual Art. Since we know you’re busy & we like to keep it short and simple we’ll give you the basics here and provide links to the site with more information (i.e. submission guidelines & forms).

Currently Seeking Submissions:

1. the 2nd Trans-Genre Compilation CD

  • Submission Deadline: Extended! Oct 15th
  • Audio/Visual
  • Compensation: Copy of Final Trans-Genre Compilation

2. Sticker Madness Contest

  • Submission Deadline: Oct 15
  • Visual
  • 5 winning Designs chosen
  • Compensation: set of all wining designs + 25 stickers of your own Design

i really enjoy the process of making a puppet. sculpting cardboard, roving through recycled fabrics and found objects, experimenting with balance and movement: i find this as interesting as the actual performances.

here is a puppet i have been working on for a short peice for the femme show , a showcase of queer/ femme performers in boston october 2nd and 3rd (click link for more info) and for a longer peice as part of the dysphoric cyborgs tour (more on this soon).

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next post: face, feet, and diy puppet fashion